I Should Know Better

I want to go places,
Reach for higher things,
But when the phone rings –
I answer it!

I have dreams,
I know who I want to be,
Yet I am always the first
With a drink in his hand.

I know better,
My inner voice,
Reminds me every day,
But I’ve got a short attention span.

I could do so much more,
I’m ready to go,
Yet so overwhelmed by the possibilities,
That I take up no opportunity.

There’s more to me,
Than meets the eye,
But I’ve been such a convincing liar –
I fool myself!

I look forward to tomorrow,
For today’s outlook is bleak,
And I am only one bad decision away
From losing it all.

Never thought I’d be here

I must admit, I never thought I’d be here! You know how you day-dream, a past time but never a reality, that is how I felt about this ever coming true, just a thought or a mere reverie, but here I am now and I feel the need to pinch myself.

But what would that do? Why take the risk that this is a dream. If it was then so be it, but if its real then why question? Why not just accept that I arrived to a destination that always appeared too far from reach? Whether it’s a dream or reality is not a question of fallacy or truth, it’s a question for philosophers and metaphysicst which I will not purport to be. Therefore as a self-professed layman, I shall just express my views as I see fit and dapple in the waters many dare not to tread – what a pity!

Is it not enough just to be here rather than question or the whys and hows of how it eventuated? I digress, I know and apologise, but despite living the moment I commute back in time to see where all the dots connect. I know this moment won’t last forever, in fact, I doubt it will continue much further, but you must excuse me while I pick myself up again and gather some kind of composure, for I really must come to grips with where I am and how I got here.

Isn’t it funny how a reverie can feel more real than when the actual moment arrives? Strange how we can be in the moment when we’re miles away from it, arrive there and we couldn’t be farther away.

Its absurd, but nevertheless true, I mean life has always been fanciful, are we too naive today to realise that we too will not exist in the future and this moment will become the past like all the history before us?

Here we are, history becometh and all I can talk about is the past…how ironic. I beg you to stay with me, I’m sure we will ascertain some experience of the now soon enough.